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Falling in love with a Shopping Mall Mannequin in front of Tanja, my FOREIGN Mail Order Bride. A MODERN MARRIAGE DOCUMENTARY: (For MANY Russian, Ukrainian and East European women, the Russian Czar / Czarina Crown is FULL of SYMBOLISM: American Men can EXPLOIT this CULTURAL GLITCH by OFFERING to be the unambiguous HEAD of the HOUSEHOLD!) (The WIFE may be the STUNNING FIGUREHEAD in the East European household, but the HUSBAND is the CZAR!) (An INTERNET RELATIONSHIP BREAKTHROUGH: International Brides LOVE the AMERICAN SHOPPING MALL, and in particular, MALL HAUL!) (USE the WONDERS of IMMIGRATION to MEET and MARRY BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, FOREIGN MAIL ORDER BRIDES – who are DESPERATE to SHOP in the US!) (It is ESSENTIAL that American Men TOLERATE Shopping Trips if they are to DATE and WED Eastern European Women!) (Foreign Women LOVE SHOPPING even MORE than AMERICAN Women: DO the UNTHINKABLE … UGH!!!… and become MALL HAUL SAVVY!) (SHOPPING SATISFACTION for your new East European bride will GUARANTEE a smooth WEDDING and a sex-filled HONEYMOON!) (The NEXT time you’re FACE to FACE with a MALL MANNEQUIN, do some SOUL SEARCHING and ask yourself: HOW REAL is ‘NOT REAL’ — is THIS the BRIDE you ORDERED?) (NOTE: don’t forget to brush up on your Russian AND Eastern European history, to fully understand WHY the MALL, with its OVERABUNDANCE of AMERICANA, is so IMPORTANT to your new IMMIGRANT WIFE!) (Grab YOUR mall haul today, and don’t forget to check her PULSE!)
Drinking Slivovitz (Ovarian Plum Brandy) with Tanja, my FOREIGN East Bloc Bride. (Part 1) A MODERN NEWLYWED DOCUMENTARY FILMED in TUCSON, ARIZONA: (Interviewing your stunning new East European Mail Order Bride is a riot: she is TOP TIER, international, mysterious, ROMANTIC, difficult to understand, and HOT, HOT, HOT!) (Never-mind that she is an EASTERN ENTREPRENEUR, and has a BUSINESS PLAN to go with her PRESENTATION!) (Is Tanja Ukrainian, Georgian, Russian, Romanian, Moldovan, Bulgarian, Finnish, or perhaps from The Netherlands?) (The MIRACLE of IMMIGRATION: MEET and MARRY BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, FOREIGN MAIL ORDER BRIDES who can POUR the ALCOHOL and DRINK it too!) (Interview, Speed Date and Quick-WED fun, intelligent, romantic Russian, Ukrainian and Eastern European Women for the craziest WEDDINGS ever!) (The SEXIEST brides are ABROAD, in EUROPE, where ROMANCE is a SECOND LANGUAGE!) (Your HONEYMOON will be so erotic you will feel the need to check if your bride is as real as your SLIVOVITZ!) (IMPORTANT: I RECOMMEND dating SEVERAL international women BEFORE committing to MARRY one, through the 90 day K-1 visa — OTHERWISE you might MORTGAGE your SANITY!) (Marrying a foreign fiancé / fiancee is NOT something to undertake lightly: great chemistry is KEY to a successful foreign romance, and bridging inevitable cultural differences and misunderstandings within the marriage!) (As INSURANCE, choose an International Dating Agency with a 90 Day Money Back Return Policy on Newlyweds …
